Modus Vivendi

Daca stiti rasele din Star Trek, ii stiti si pe Ferengi. Iar daca ii stiti pe Ferengi, musai trebuie sa stiti si regulile lor. Pentru ca, nu-i asa?, nu te poti juca daca nu stii regulile. Iar daca stii regulile si le mai si aplici, se cheama ca te-ai adaptat conditiilor jocului. Iar odata ce te-ai adaptat, nu-ti ramane decat sa lupti pentru a castiga. Scopul mercantil scuza mijlocele, sau mijloacele mercantile scuza scopul sau scopul scuza mijloacele mercantile.....da, da...asta trebuie sa fie. Ce trebuie sa mai stim despre Ferengi ca sa le intelegem mai bine legile? Ca sint extrem de misogini, ca-si trateaza femeile ca pe niste sclave, ca sint elitisti si exclusivisti. Ferengi au urechile mari iar marimea urechilor se presupune ca are directa legatura cu marimea averii. Chintesenta filosofiei Ferengi este regula nescrisa: cand nu exista o lege favorabila, inventeaza una.

Rules of Acquisition -
1 - Once you have their money…You never give it back.
2 - The best deal is the one that brings the most profit.
3 - Never pay more for an acquisition than you have to.
4 - A woman wearing clothes is like a man in the kitchen.
5 - If you can’t break a contract, bend it.
6 - Never allow family to stand in the way of opportunity.
7 - Keep your ears open.
8 - Small print leads to large risk.
9 - Opportunity plus instinct equals profit.
10 - Greed is eternal.
11 - Even if it’s free, you can always buy it cheaper.
12 - Anything worth selling is worth selling twice.
13 - Anything worth doing is worth doing for money.
14 - Keep your family close, keep your Latinum closer.
15 - Acting stupid is often smart.
16 - A deal is a deal is a deal…Until a better one comes along.
17 - A contract is a contract is a contract…But only between Ferengi.
18 - A Ferengi without profit is no Ferengi at all.
19 - Satisfaction is not guaranteed.
20 - Only give money to people you know you can steal from.
21 - Never place friendship above profit.
22 - A wise man can hear profit in the wind.
23 - Nothing is more important than your health -except for your money.
24 - Latinum can’t buy happiness, but you can sure have a blast renting it.
25 - There’s always a way out.
26 - As the customers go, so goes the wise profiteer.
27 - There’s nothing more dangerous than an honest businessman.
28 - Morality is always defined by those in power.
29 - What’s in it for me?
30 - Talk is cheap; synthehol costs money.
31 - Never make fun of a Ferengi’s mother…Insult something he cares about instead.
32 - Be careful what you sell. It may do exactly what the customer expects.
33 - It never hurts to suck up to the boss.
34 - Peace is good for business.
35 - War is good for business.
36 - Too many Ferengi can’t laugh at themselves anymore.
37 - If it’s free, take it and worry about hidden costs later.
38 - Free advertising is cheap.
39 - Friendship is temporary; profit is forever.
40 - She can touch your lobes but never your latinum.
41 - Profit is its own reward.
42 - What’s mine is mine, and what’s yours is mine too.
43 - Caressing an ear is often more forceful than pointing a weapon.
44 - Never confuse wisdom with luck.
45 - Ambition knows no family.
46 - Make your shop easy to find.
47 - Don’t trust a man wearing a better suit than your own.
48 - The bigger the smile, the sharper the knife.
49 - Everything is worth something to somebody.
50 - Gratitude can bring on generosity.
51 - Reward anyone who adds to your profits so they will continue to do so.
52 - Never ask when you can take.
53 - Sell first; ask questions later.
54 - Never buy anything you can’t sell.
55 - Always sell at the highest possible profit.
56 - Pursue profit; women come later.
57 - Good customers are as rare as latinum -treasure them.
58 - There is no substitute for success.
59 - Free advice is seldom cheap.
60 - Keep your lies consistent.
61 - You can’t cheat an honest customer, but it never hurts to try.
62 - The riskier the road, the greater the profit.
63 - Power without profit is like a ship without an engine.
64 - Don’t talk shop; talk shopping.
65 - Win or lose, there’s always Huyperian beetle snuff.
66 - Anyone serving in a fleet who is crazy can be relieved, if they ask for it.
67 - Anyone asking to be relieved is not crazy and must be forced to serve.
68 - Ear stroking will get you anything.
69 - Ferengi are not responsible for the stupidity of other races.
70 - Get the money first, then let the buyers worry about collecting the merchandise.
71 - There’s a customer born every minute.
72 - Never trust your customers.
73 - If it gets you profit, sell your own mother.
74 - Knowledge equals profit.
75 - Home is where the heart is…But the stars are made of latinum.
76 - Every once in a while, declare peace. It confuses the hell out of your enemies.
77 - It’s better to swallow your pride than to lose your profit.
78 - When the going gets tough, the tough change the Rules.
79 - Beware of the Vulcan greed for knowledge.
80 - Sex and profit are the two things that never last long enough.
81 - Latinum isn’t the only thing that shines.
82 - The flimsier the product, the higher the price.
83 - Anything stolen is pure profit.
84 - A friend is not a friend if he asks for a discount.
85 - Never let the competition know what you’re thinking.
86 - Don’t lie too soon after a promotion.
87 - A friend in need means three times the profit.
88 - A friend in need is a customer in the making.
89 - Ask not what your profits can do for you, but what you can do for your profits.
90 - Never take the last coin, but be sure to get all the rest.
91 - Fear makes a good business partner.
92 - There are many paths to profit.
93 - Act without delay! The sharp knife cuts quickly.
94 - Females and finances don’t mix.
95 - Expand or die.
96 - For every Rule, there is an equal and opposite Rule, (except when there’s not).
97 - Enough…Is never enough.
98 - Every man has his price.
99 - Trust is the biggest liability of all.
100 - If they take your first offer, you either asked too little or offered too much.
101 - The only value of a collectible is what you can get somebody else to pay for it.
102 - Nature decays, but latinum lasts forever.
103 - Sleep can interfere with [opportunity].
104 - Faith moves mountains…Of inventory.
105 - Don’t trust anyone who trusts you.
106 - There is no honour in poverty.
107 - A warranty is valid only if they can find you.
108 - Sometimes what you get free costs entirely too much.
109 - Dignity and an empty sack is worth the sack.
110 - Never sleep with the boss’ wife unless you pay him first.
111 - Treat people in your debt like family…Exploit them.
112 - Never have sex with the boss’ sister.
113 - Always have sex with the boss.
114 - The vast majority of the rich in this galaxy did not inherit their wealth; they stole it.
115 - The best contract always has a lot of fine print.
116 - There’s always a catch.
117 - You can’t free a fish from water.
118 - When someone says “It’s not the money,” they’re lying.
119 - Never judge a customer by the size of his wallet…Sometimes, good things come in small packages.
120 - You can always buy back a lost reputation.
121 - Everything is for sale, even friendship.
122 - A friend is only a friend until you sell him something. Then he is a customer.
123 - Even a blind man can recognise the glow of latinum.
124 - Praise is cheap. Heap it generously on all customers.
125 - You can’t make a deal if you’re dead.
126 - Count it.
127 - Stay neutral in conflict so that you can sell supplies to both sides.
128 - Only negotiate when you are certain to profit.
129 - Profit has limits. Loss has none.
130 - Labour camps are full of people who trusted the wrong person.
131 - Old age and wisdom will always overcome youth and talent.
132 - Never bluff a Klingon.
133 - Never admit a mistake if there is someone else to blame.
134 - A dead customer can’t buy as much as a live one.
135 - Never trust a beneficiary.
136 - Beware of relatives bearing gifts.
137 - Money talks, but having lots of it gets more attention.
138 - Law makes everyone equal, but justice goes to the highest bidder.
139 - Wives serve, brothers inherit.
140 - A bargain usually isn’t.
141 - Only fools pay retail.
142 - There’s no such thing as an unfair advantage.
143 - Risk is part of the game…Play it for all it’s worth.
144 - There’s nothing wrong with charity…As long as it winds up in your pocket.
145 - When the customer is sweating, turn up the heat.
146 - Necessity is the mother of invention. Profit is the father.
147 - Give someone a fish, you feed him for one day. Teach him how to fish, and you lose a steady customer.
148 - Opportunity waits for no one.
149 - Never do something you can make someone do for you.
150 - Money is never made. It is merely won or lost.
151 - Buy, sell, or get out of the way.
152 - A lie is a way to tell the truth to someone who doesn’t know.
153 - Sell the sizzle, not the steak.
154 - If you can sell it, don’t hesitate to steal it.
155 - Never bet on a race you haven’t fixed.
156 - Borrow on a handshake; lend in writing.
157 - Keep count of your change.
159 - Do business with a “Small Lobe” and you’re bound to get a big loss.
162 - Even in the worst of times, someone turns a profit.
163 - Rules are always subject to interpretation.
164 - Never spend your own money when you can spend someone else’s.
167 - The most beautiful thing about a tree is what you can do with it after you cut it down.
168 - Whisper your way to success.
169 - Competition and fair play are mutually exclusive.
170 - Compassion is no substitute for profit.
171 - Blood is thicker than water, and Latinum is thicker than both.
172 - Chances aren’t what they used to be.
173 - You could afford your ship without your government; if it weren’t for your government.
174 - Be loyal to your allies occasionally, so they will forgive you when you cheat on them.
175 - Friendship is seldom cheap.
176 - Never use credit where your words will do.
177 - Know your enemies…But do business with them always.
178 - Never buy what can be stolen.
179 - Fighting with Klingons is like gambling with Cardassians; it’s best to have a friend with a weapon around when you lose.
180 - Never offer a confession when a bribe will do.
181 - Not even dishonesty can tarnish the shine of profit.
182 - Only a fool passes up a business opportunity.
183 - Let’s you and him fight.
188 - A fool and his money is the best customer.
189 - Let others keep their reputation. You keep their money.
190 - Hear all, trust nothing.
191 - A Ferengi waits to bid until his opponents have exhausted themselves.
192 - Never cheat a Klingon…Unless you’re sure you can get away with it.
194 - It’s always good business to know about new customers before they walk in your door.
200 - If you’re going to have to endure, make yourself comfortable.
202 - The justification for profit is profit.
203 - New customers are like razor-tooth gree-worms; they can be succulent, but sometimes they bite back.
204 - It takes a Ferengi to cheat a Ferengi.
208 - Sometimes, the only thing more dangerous than a question is an answer.
211 - Employees are the rungs on the ladder of success; don’t hesitate to step on them.
214 - Never begin a negotiation on an empty stomach.
215 - Instinct without opportunity is useless.
216 - Never gamble with an empath.
218 - Always know what you’re buying.
219 - Possession is eleven tenths of the law.
221 - Beware of any man who thinks with his lobes.
222 - Knowledge is power.
223 - Beware the man who doesn’t make time for oo-mox.
229 - Latinum lasts longer than lust.
231 - There’s a sucker born every minute; be sure you’re the first to find each one.
236 - You can’t buy fate.
239 - Never be afraid to mislabel a product.
241 - Never trust a hardworking employee.
242 - More is good…All is better.
253 - Synthehol is the lubricant of choice for a customer’s stuck purse.
255 - A wife is a luxury…A smart accountant a necessity.
256 - Accountants do not play the game; they only keep the score.
260 - Life’s not fair. How else would you turn a profit?
261 - A wealthy man can afford anything except a conscience.
262 - A verbal contract isn’t worth the paper it’s written on.
263 - Never allow doubt to tarnish your lust for latinum.
265 - The customer is always right…Until you get his cash.
266 - When in doubt, lie.
267 - If you believe it, they believe it.
270 - In business deals, a disruptor can be almost as important as a calculator.
277 - Anything worth fighting for is worth hiding from.
281 - Blood is thicker than water, but harder to sell.
282 - Business is like war; it’s important to recognize the winner.
283 - Rules are always subject to change.
284 - Deep down, everyone’s a Ferengi.
285 - No good deed ever goes unpunished.
286 - When Morn leaves, it’s all over.
299 - Whenever you exploit someone, it never hurts to thank them. That way, it’s easier to exploit them the next time.